These are dark days. Exhausting days. Days that promise a new affront to decency and stability every damn hour.
I am trying.
I have been filling a journal with things that make me happy, unfailingly happy.
Songs to dance along to.
Song to sing along with.
Movies and TV shows.
Reminders to take my medicine on time.
Reminders to breathe.
Lists of things I want to teach the boys.
Things I can do to make my environment more orderly.
Lists of painters I love.
Lists of comic strips that make me smile.
Reminders to stretch.
A list of exercise classes I can get to quickly.
Nail polish colors.
Names of people I love.
Inside jokes with my husband.
Lists of things with soothing textures-smooth stones and fluffy hair and grass.
Descriptions of places I love.
Little things I can to do show my family I love them.
Anything I can think of to pierce the darkness, it goes in the journal.
I flip through it whenever I need to, and I need to almost hourly right now.
I am not going to lose my soul to this fight.