Hi everyone!
Today I have an essay up at The Manifest-Station called Bedtime (you can click on the title to link to the essay).
This is a story of two bedtimes, one recent and one more than six years ago. Part of the story is about the painful limitations I encountered being a parent with chronic illnesses. Part of the story is about how miraculous getting to be a parent at all feels.
This is a chapter in the book I am working on called Quote/Unquote “Healthy”. I announced here last summer that I hoped to have it done before the 2017-2018 school year. Well, illness gets in the way sometimes (and adds more chapters I need to write about!) but I hope to have the full manuscript done by November.
The Manifest-Station has given this story a wonderful home, and a gorgeous accompanying picture that is beautiful…and makes me smile as it doesn’t look much like the room this actually took place in. So, for you all I included the real thing, for authenticity’s sake.
I hope you are able to check it out.
Love,
Kristin
Kristin DeMarco Wagner 
nice work – thanks for writing and sharing it. (i couldn’t find the comments button on Manifestation-station, unfortunately.) i too have fibromyalgia and a little one. we are indeed the lucky ones, even if we are often in pain and often struggling. many women have that moment of needing to flee from their kids—even without the fibro! it’s good to talk and write about these things so other women don’t have to feel so guilty about it. our kids will probably be much better off for learning to fend for themselves now and then, learn to self-soothe and go to sleep, etc., thanks to our illness making it impossible for us to coddle them 24/7. 🙂
you might be interested in the book Through the Shadowlands by Julie Rehmeyer. she wrestles with a diagnosis of ME/CFS and with the dawning realization that she will probably never have children. (she also finds a weird, alternative method of helping ease her symptoms—which works very well for her. applying the same techniques has been transformative for me as well, though not a cure-all.)
Thank you so much! I very much appreciate it. The guilt had been hard for me, and I have to remind myself that my guys are going to do fine, if not better, in the middle of my illnesses! It’s great to hear from other people who have been there, to have that in common.
I heard about that book and I am SO intrigued! It’s on my summer reading list, though I promised myself that I have to finish my new David Sedaris and Roxane Gay’s Hunger first.
Thanks so much for reaching out, and for your kind words!